A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx
Go, and never darken my towels again.
Groucho Marx
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
Groucho Marx
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
Groucho Marx
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
Groucho Marx
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Groucho Marx
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx
I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
Groucho Marx, In the film A Day at the Races
